The Power of Vulnerability for Judges

I’ve been hearing the word “vulnerable” everywhere lately. It comes up in conversations about leadership, well-being, relationships, even courtroom dynamics. But what does it really mean, and how does it relate to judges? In a profession built on authority, composure and control, vulnerability can sound like something to avoid. Yet it may be one of the most misunderstood concepts in the entire conversation around judicial wellness.

When judges picture vulnerability, many imagine losing credibility or appearing uncertain. That assumption is understandable. Judges are expected to provide stability for everyone in the room. You interpret the law, resolve disputes and set the tone for proceedings. There is very little space for wavering or hesitation, so the instinct is to stay composed at all times. Over time, that composure becomes a mask that can hide exhaustion, stress or emotional strain. It can also become a barrier to getting help.

But vulnerability, in the healthy sense, is not weakness or emotional oversharing. It is the simple willingness to acknowledge your humanity. And for judges, who shoulder enormous responsibility, this kind of emotional honesty is essential.

The Mask That Judges Learn to Wear

Before we talk about vulnerability, we have to talk about the mask. Every profession has one, but the judicial mask is particularly heavy.

Judges learn early that they are the “steady center.” You are the one others look to for clarity, order and reassurance. Your courtroom is supposed to feel like a place of structure, fairness and calm authority. The instinct to project strength is both natural and reinforced by the role itself.

The mask says:

• “I have this under control.”

• “Nothing rattles me.”

• “I can absorb this, no matter how difficult it is.”

But behind the mask, judges see a side of humanity that most people never do. You hear painful stories. You witness trauma and conflict. You experience high pressure, high stakes and high scrutiny. And unlike many professionals, you often cannot talk openly about your cases or your experiences. That creates a perfect environment for emotional suppression.

The mask helps you function, but it can also keep you from noticing when you’re struggling.

Why Vulnerability Feels Risky

It makes sense that vulnerability feels dangerous. The expectations placed on judges often leave very little room for being human.

• Authority Requires Composure

There is an unspoken belief that showing emotion might undermine authority. Judges worry that acknowledging stress or fatigue might change how others perceive their capability.

• The Role Is Isolating

Judges cannot simply walk down the hall and talk freely about their cases. Confidentiality is necessary, but it also limits emotional outlets.

• People Expect You to Be the Rock

Colleagues, court staff, litigants, and attorneys all look to you for answers. When everyone else leans on you, it becomes harder to lean on anyone yourself.

• There Is Fear of Judgment

Even trusted peers can feel like risky confidants in a competitive professional culture. Many judges worry that admitting struggle will be seen as weakness.

These factors create an environment where judges feel immense pressure to stay composed, even when they are carrying more than anyone realizes.

The Hidden Costs of Avoiding Vulnerability

Avoiding vulnerability does not make stress go away. It simply pushes it beneath the surface, where it quietly grows.

• Emotional Exhaustion

Keeping everything bottled in has a cost. Judges often describe feeling drained at the end of the day — not just from the workload, but from maintaining the emotional armor that the role seems to require.

• Isolation and Loneliness

When you never show your human side, others struggle to connect with you on a human level. This can make judges feel lonely even while surrounded by people.

• Decision Fatigue

Judges carry the weight of their decisions. Without emotional processing or support, the mental load becomes heavier, making routine choices feel overwhelming.

• Disrupted Personal Life

When you suppress emotions all day, they don’t disappear. They often show up at home in irritability, withdrawal or difficulty relaxing.

• Delayed Help-Seeking

Perhaps the biggest risk is waiting too long to ask for help. Vulnerability often opens the door to early intervention. Without it, problems compound — stress, anxiety, depression, or substance use can escalate quietly.

These costs are significant, but they are also reversible. Vulnerability is the first step toward relief and connection.

What Healthy Vulnerability Looks Like for Judges

Healthy vulnerability does not compromise your authority. It reinforces your humanity, which in turn strengthens your resilience and leadership.

• Acknowledging Your Emotions

It begins with something simple: noticing how the work affects you. Feeling troubled by a difficult case, sad about a family situation or overwhelmed by your docket is not a sign of inadequacy. It is a normal human response.

• Talking to Someone You Trust

You do not have to share publicly or with colleagues if that feels unsafe. Vulnerability can mean connecting privately with one trusted person, a therapist, a peer or the Judicial Advisory Group or OLAP.

• Setting Healthy Boundaries

Recognizing your limits is not a failure. It is a sign of maturity and self-awareness. Boundaries in work hours, email habits or emotional labor are forms of vulnerability and courage.

• Letting Others See Small Pieces of Your Humanity

This does not require revealing personal details. It can be as simple as saying, “This was a tough week,” or “That case stayed with me.” These small disclosures create space for connection.

How Vulnerability Strengthens, Not Weakens, Judicial Leadership

Judges often fear that vulnerability will make them less effective. In reality, the opposite tends to happen.

• It Enhances Empathy

Judges who stay connected to their own emotions judge more compassionately and fairly. Emotional awareness is an asset, not a liability.

It Improves Decision-Making

When you’re honest about stress, fatigue or emotional weight, you’re more likely to make thoughtful choices and seek support when needed.

It Builds Trust with Staff and Colleagues

People respect leaders who are grounded and authentic. Vulnerability signals openness and courage, strengthening relationships in the courthouse.

It Promotes Healthier Court Culture

When judges model emotional awareness, others feel permission to take care of themselves too. This is how systems change — not with policies, but with human behavior.

Small Ways to Practice Vulnerability

You do not need to overhaul your life to embrace vulnerability. Try starting with these simple steps:

• Pause before leaving the bench and ask yourself, “How did today affect me?”

• Talk with a colleague about something challenging instead of brushing it off.

• Give yourself permission to take breaks when you need them.

• Reach out to OLAP confidentially if you need a place to talk.

These are not signs of weakness. They are signs of wisdom and self-preservation.

The next time you hear the word “vulnerable,” consider what it might mean for you. Not as a judge on the bench, but as a human being carrying a demanding and meaningful role. Strength is not the absence of struggle. Strength is the willingness to acknowledge your experience and stay connected to yourself and those who can help you.

If you ever need support, OLAP and the Judicial Advisory Group are here—confidentially and without judgment.