Six ways judges can set boundaries in and out of the courtroom

In my role as Executive Director of the Ohio Lawyers Assistance Program, I’ve had the privilege of speaking with many judges across the state. I’ve heard stories of long days, late nights, emotional overload, and the quiet isolation that sometimes comes with life on the bench. And what I often hear in these conversations—spoken or unspoken—is this:

"I’m tired, but I don’t know how to slow down."

Judges carry a unique weight. Your role demands clarity, neutrality, and stamina—qualities that require more than sharp legal skill. They require emotional regulation, inner steadiness, and something we don’t talk about nearly enough: healthy personal boundaries.

By boundaries, I mean the intentional limits we set to protect our time, energy, emotional bandwidth, and sense of self. For judges, boundaries aren’t about withdrawing from your duties—they’re about sustaining your ability to serve well over time, without sacrificing your health or integrity in the process.

From overflowing dockets and public scrutiny to community expectations and ethical constraints, the pressures you face are complex. And yet, I’ve seen how drawing clearer lines—professionally and personally—can help judges not only survive, but also thrive.

Here are six ways I’ve seen judges successfully set boundaries—inside and outside the courtroom.

Establish time boundaries

Judicial calendars don’t let up. Hearings, orders, research, writing, and administrative tasks all compete for your time. It’s easy for the workday to bleed into evenings, weekends and even family vacations.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know that it’s not selfish to reclaim your time; it’s necessary.

Some strategies that can help:

• Define your end-of-day—and honor it. Unless something is urgent, avoid diving back into files late at night.

• Set expectations with staff. Use “office hours” for communication to minimize constant interruptions.

• Block off thinking time. Protect time for decision writing like you would protect a hearing on your docket.

• Delegate wisely. Lean on staff attorneys and judicial assistants when you can.

• Time boundaries preserve the mental clarity you need to make good decisions. You don’t owe your job your evenings and weekends. You owe it your best self—during reasonable working hours.

Create emotional boundaries during difficult cases

You don’t have to sit on the bench very long before a case hits you right in the gut—child welfare, domestic violence, terminal illness, and human suffering are only a handful of examples.

As a judge, you can’t show that you’re carrying it. But, of course, you can feel it.

That emotional weight builds over time unless you find a way to release it. Emotional boundaries allow you to stay compassionate without being consumed.

Try this:

• Learn to notice emotional saturation. Disrupted sleep, irritability, or numbness may be signs you’ve taken on too much.

• Develop a ritual to close difficult cases. Something as small as closing a file, breathing deeply, or walking outside can help you reset.

• Talk to someone you trust. Confidential resources like the Judicial Advisory Group can be a lifeline.

• Shift your mindset at home. Use exercise, hobbies, or time with loved ones to transition away from your judicial role.

You can care deeply and still protect yourself. In fact, that’s what sustains your ability to care at all.

Draw firm lines around off-bench relationships

Judges live under a microscope. Even well-intentioned relationships can raise questions about impartiality or favoritism. That means navigating friendships, community involvement, and social events with extra care—and sometimes, tough decisions.

You may need to:

• Limit socializing with attorneys who appear before you.

• Avoid blurred lines on social media. Public comments, tags, or private messages can create appearance issues.

• Decline invitations that create even the perception of conflict. Even if they come from close friends.

• Stay hyper-vigilant during elections. Public trust depends on your visible neutrality.

• Boundaries like these aren’t about cutting yourself off from the world. They’re about protecting what your robe represents.

Use communication boundaries to prevent overload

I’ve heard judges describe themselves as part mediator, part therapist, part teacher—even part referee. The courtroom can be emotionally charged, and people often look to you to fix everything.

But you can’t be everything to everyone—and you shouldn’t try.

Here’s how you might hold the line:

• Clarify what communication is appropriate in court. Set expectations about how and when lawyers or litigants may approach.

• Redirect routine questions to your staff.

• Avoid absorbing the emotional energy of the courtroom. Show empathy, yes, but protect your core.

• Don’t take on the “fixer” role in meetings or professional settings. Offer guidance when appropriate, but keep your boundaries intact.

The more clearly you define your communication limits, the less likely you are to become overwhelmed—or inadvertently compromise your neutrality.

Define social and public boundaries outside the courtroom

I’ve heard judges say they feel like they’re “on stage” even at the grocery store. Someone wants to talk about a case, vent about a decision, or ask for legal advice “off the record.”

You deserve a personal life. And you deserve to enjoy it in peace.

Some helpful habits:

• Use prepared, respectful phrases, such as “I appreciate your concern, but I can’t discuss anything outside of court.”

• Avoid giving legal advice in casual settings.

• Talk to your family about avoiding court-related talk in public or online.

• Be careful with public-facing leadership roles. Consider how they may appear to the public.

Boundaries help you show up in your community as a person—not just a judge.

Honor your mental and physical health

This one may be the hardest.

Judges often feel like they can’t stop. That taking care of themselves would be selfish—or even unprofessional. But here’s what I can tell you, after many conversations I’ve had with judges:

If you don’t protect your health, the system loses a clear, ethical, wise decision-maker. Everyone loses.

So:

• Take your breaks. Don’t skip meals. Rest throughout the day.

• Schedule real time off. Don’t wait until you’re at the brink.

• Pay attention to early signs of burnout, depression, or anxiety.

• Reach out to us at OLAP or the Judicial Advisory Group. It’s confidential. It’s judgment-free. And it works.

You are not alone. And you don’t have to wait until things get bad to ask for help.

Boundaries build better justice

Let me be clear: Boundaries are not walls. They are structures—thoughtful, necessary ones—that preserve fairness, focus and dignity in a profession that demands a great deal from those who serve.

Judges who protect their time, energy, and emotional well-being aren’t neglecting their duties—they’re honoring them.

Because a judge’s greatest strength isn’t in how much they can carry—it’s in knowing when to pause, protect, and preserve the clarity required to lead well.

If you're a judge or magistrate who could use support, please reach out to the Judicial Advisory Group, a confidential peer-based resource dedicated to helping judges with personal and professional concerns. You can also contact us directly at OLAP by visiting www.ohiolap.org/judges or calling (800) 348-4343.

You don’t have to carry it all alone. And you shouldn’t.